A Different Kind of Love
by Mohoono-chan
Summary: Gwen reminisces about an old crush. Merlin really wishes she wouldn't.


Just a blurb I typed out a while back. I don't feel like it's particularly good, but yeah. I debated whether to use what I started here to make a longer fic but ultimately decided against it; I'd never have finished it. It was all planned out, too. Shame. Oh well. This is good enough. I always love a good friendship fic.

**Disclaimer: **No characters or characteristics of characters mentioned belong to me. I hold no rights to the TV series Merlin.

**A Different Kind of Love**

Gwen first met Merlin volunteering at a charity theater just fresh from moving to New York for school five years ago. Gwen and Merlin had bonded over their shared experiences of learning to live overseas. He taught her tips and tricks to living with the Americanisms and became her new flatmate two years later when she'd begun having problems with paying rent. Gwen had eventually fallen into a job she was far too qualified for in an attempt to stay in the country after graduation; Visas were a tricky business. She and Merlin had become instant best friends, only growing closer as the years wore on. That is, of course, if you ignored that month or so in the beginning when Gwen had the worst crush on Merlin.

"It was the ears, I think," Gwen mused, staring up at Merlin from her place strewn across the couch while he waited at the stove for the kettle to boil. She nodded to herself, "Yes, definitely. They're very endearing."

Said ears burned bright red as Merlin groaned and covered his face with his arm, "Gwen! I thought we agreed never to mention this ever again!"

Gwen gave a cheeky little smile, "What? Aren't I the one who should be embarrassed? I was the one who fell for your Dumbo look."

"I do not look like Dumbo!" the hint of a glare peaked out from under the arm covering his face.

"Do too."

"Do not," Merlin dropped his arm to rub self-consciously at his ears. After a pause, he asked, "They're not really that bad, are they?"

"No," Gwen relents, sitting up and giving him an encouraging smile, "Don't worry, they're very endearing. I fell for their charm after all."

Merlin flushed again and turned away from her as the kettle started whistling, "I really do wish you would stop mentioning it."

Gwen jumped up and reached with greedy hands as Merlin carried two steaming mugs into the room. She took her cup as she responded, "I can't help it. You get that cute flustered face whenever I say anything. You're so awkward about these things, Merlin."

"Do not."

"Do too," Gwen rolled her eyes, "Honestly, Merlin. You never notice when people are interested. Always takes you by surprise. You should be more aware of yourself."

"That was one time, not including you," Merlin argued, clicking on the TV, "It really doesn't happen as much as you claim."

"No," Gwen said slowly, really drawing the word out and watching him, "You only think that because you don't notice any form of romantic advance unless they're explicitly stated."

Merlin pressed his lips together, "I'm not as oblivious as you think."

"Merlin," Gwen turned fully toward the man, eyes disbelieving, "Two weeks. We dated for two weeks and you didn't even realize until I reached into your trousers and _squeezed_."

Merlin's face twisted into something like an embarrassed grimace, "I don't think it counts as dating if one or both parties are unaware."

Gwen turned back to the TV. A cooking show was on; they were grilling lemon chicken. She sipped at her tea. "Not the point," She said, "The point is sex and love is sort of a blind spot for you."

Merlin was silent for a long while, staring blankly at the TV, before sighing and getting up. He walked over to their stack of movies. They had just binged on dollar VHS tapes for the player that just barely managed to keep hanging on even after twenty or so years of use. They'd gotten it from Merlin's uncle and their landlord, Gaius, when Gwen moved in. It was a nice matching set with their old tube TV; they didn't have cable, so there were only about twelve semi-working channels. Merlin picked the movie on the top of the stack up. The VHS slid in with ease and Gwen switched over to channel three. Merlin settled back into his place on the couch and sipped at his mug. They didn't speak as the movie started playing.

The plot was a bit of a disappointment. Far less engaging than she had been hoping for after reading the back of the box. About halfway through, just as Gwen was beginning to drift off, Merlin spoke. It was a low mutter barely recognizable over the sound of a man yelling onscreen. Gwen lifted her head from where it had dropped onto Merlin's shoulder and gave a sleepy "Hmm?"

"I don't see why I need to worry about that kind of thing," Merlin repeated, louder this time.

"What? Worry about what?" Gwen asked, lifting her head from his shoulder and rubbing sleep from her eyes. Merlin always did this—continuing conversations she thought long over, sometimes days later. Gwen was never very good at following his train of thought when he did. That only ever left asking.

"I mean about love being a blind spot," Merlin said, rushed, "Much less sex. I've never needed to worry about those types of things. I'm happy as I am."

"Oh, Merlin," Gwen says, finally understanding, "I know you are. It just sometimes leads to misunderstandings."

Merlin exhaled slowly, "I just—I don't understand it, Gwen. None of it. Never have. Why all the weird, subtle hints? Just say what you mean, you know?"

"I know," Gwen reached up to pat his face and then pulled him into a loose hug, "I know. Love isn't that easy, though. It can be hard to get up the nerve to say it straight when you really care about someone."

"I don't understand love."

"Yes you do. You love me, don't you?"

"Well, yeah, but that's different."

"Why?" Gwen pressed a kiss to Merlin's temple and he rested his head against her shoulder.

"It's not that… special, romantic love or whatever people always talk about."

"That doesn't make what we have any less important. Who says what we have isn't special?"

Merlin is silent for a long moment, "It is."

"Good," Gwen smiled down at Merlin and pats his head, "Because I don't plan on going anywhere. Even if I do find my prince charming someday, you're an irreplaceable part of my life, Merlin."

Merlin grinned into her shoulder, "Marry me, sweet Guinevere. I refuse to share you."

Gwen scoffed and slapped his shoulder, "Please. You had your chance, Dumbo. I've moved on already."

"Good," Merlin muttered and pulled away, "I should go to bed. I'm working downstairs tomorrow. You know how Giaus gets when I'm late."

With that, Merlin got up and retreated to his room, his door clicking shut behind him. The movie played quietly in the background. Gwen checked the clock and sighed, hitting the back of her head against the back of the couch. It was eight thirty.

With a groan, she got off the couch and turned off the TV and VCR. After checking the locks and turning off all the lights, she retreated to her own room. Gwen chanced a glance at Merlin's door as she passed in the hall and saw no light on inside. She sighed and continued past. Sometimes, Gwen really wished she could understand Merlin better than she did.


End file.
